Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
