he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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