turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
