All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
