'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
