I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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