Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
