Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
