we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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