zippers are such a cool invention
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
