She's JV to your varsity
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
