I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
