Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
