I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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