You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
