Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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