so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
