So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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