i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize