If that was your dad, he is hot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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