writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
