Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
