At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
