Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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