drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
