oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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