There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
