they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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