So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
