I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
