chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
