ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
