Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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