Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
