hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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