Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
