lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize