is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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