bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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