hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
