Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
