His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
