Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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