My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize