I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
