best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
