bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I deserve this hangover.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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