We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
