you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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