talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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