so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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