i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
