Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
