His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
