I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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