honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
