Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize