some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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