The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
