it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
