the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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