Buhtt sex?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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