hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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