you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
