somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
