with your own penis?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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