You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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