I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
