Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
